Heirloom Ladies

  • Faith
    • Are You a Child of God?
  • Homemaking
  • Kitchen Table
  • Parenting
  • About Us
    • Contact Us
    • Are You a Child of God?

Advice for Parents of Adults: Ways to Evolve from Parent to Friend

This advice for parents of adults will help you get out of “parent mode” and into “friend mode.” Of course, you will always be your child’s parent, but the relationship definitely shifts once they hit adulthood.

This stage is nothing to fear if you view it as a new, exciting chapter with lots of possibilities. In this post, learn DOs and DON’Ts of this life stage so you can navigate it smoothly.

This advice for parents of adults (full of crucial DOs and DON'Ts) will help you get out of "parent mode" and into "friend mode." #parenting #adulthood #parenttofriend #parentingtips

Advice for parents of adult children seems unnecessary. They are your children, after all, and the relationship will always be that, right? WRONG. A very wise woman once told me, “When your children were little you could just eat them up. When they become teenagers, you wish you had.”

I am here to tell you that the third stage—adulthood—is one reason why you don’t want to eat your teenager! They do grow out of the rebellious teen years and actually become interesting people. But we have to let them.

In this day and time, “parenting” adult children is not actually parenting. It is discovering that your child is an adult.

There are a lot of terms for parents today: helicopter, lawnmower, bulldozer, etc. The parenting adult children phase actually starts before they are adults.

Parent and child standing on opposite sides of two cliffs.

Helicopter parents hover and are constantly making sure that their children are protected. So much so, that they can’t handle it when things go wrong.  Their parents never let anything go wrong!

Bulldozer and lawnmower parents are always there to smooth the path in front of their children. So when these young people become adults, they truly have no coping skills and must continue to rely on mom and dad.

These types of parents have NOT done their job! Their one job as parents was to prepare their children to leave and to be able to live and rely on their own abilities. Sadly, they failed at this.

Advice for Parents of Adults: DOs and DON’Ts

As someone who has been on both ends of the spectrum, I can give you some “Do’s and Don’ts” of parenting your adult children.

Still life of a person holding an acorn in one hand and a leaf in the other.

DO: Communicate with your adult children like they are adults.

DON’T: Say things that you would not say to a friend (Have you gained weight? How can you live like this? I told you so! etc.).

DO: Trust your children to make wise decisions. If you have been there guiding them and teaching them, then they are prepared to make those decisions.

DON’T: Give advice unless asked for it!

DO: Have a sense of humor. Inside family stories are the best. Recently, my son told me that he mentioned an inside family joke to some friends at church, but then he realized no one else understood it. That is what makes a family!

DON’T: Provoke your children to wrath! Ephesians 6:4 is still relevant, no matter the age of your child.

DO: Treat them with respect. They are adults. Enjoy your time with them as adults.

DON’T: Treat them like a child!

DO: Enjoy your time with them! Make memories with them and make the time spent with them happy ones!

DO: Love them for who they are and rejoice in the adult friend you now have!

If you are able to evolve your relationship from parent to friend of your child, then everyone will be the better for it, especially when the grandchildren come along.

Which, by the way, is something else you don’t want to ask – “When are you going to give me a grandchild?”

For more mature parenting inspiration, check out this post “If I Could Go Back 20 Years” via Come Fill Your Cup.

Comment below: Do you have any advice for parents of adults to add to this list?

Donna McCurry regularly teaches classes for children and ladies at Deerfoot Church of Christ in Birmingham, Alabama. She is married to Skip McCurry, an elder at Deerfoot. They have two children: Nia McCurry Johnson, a professor at Samford University, and William McCurry, a police officer in St. Petersburg, Florida. She is a grandmother to two of the most beautiful baby boys in the world, along with being a part-time accountant and fulltime volunteer with church and PTA.

Tweet
Pin4
Share5
9 Shares
Is Dating a Non-Christian a Bad Idea? »

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recipe Rating




Recent Posts

  • How Do You Say Goodbye? On Dealing With Grief…
  • Sins that “sting like an adder” (or a yellow jacket…)
  • For This Child I have Prayed, and You Have Heard My Prayer
  • My Work With The Jail & Prison Ministry
  • Keeping the Faith in Everyday Life

Recent Comments

  • google on Keeping the Faith in Everyday Life
  • 강남안마 on How Do You Say Goodbye? On Dealing With Grief…
  • google on My Work With The Jail & Prison Ministry
  • google on Sins that “sting like an adder” (or a yellow jacket…)
  • google on Oh, Christmas Tree

Archives

  • November 2020
  • October 2020
  • February 2020
  • January 2020
  • August 2019
  • July 2019
  • May 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • September 2018
  • August 2018

Archives

Categories

A work of the Deerfoot church of Christ in Pinson, Alabama.

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest

Copyright © 2023 · Dainty theme by Restored 316

Copyright © 2023 · Dainty Theme on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in